If You Give a Bum a Beer

One Saturday night, after I got off of work, I decided to stop by the grocery store and buy a little booze. In California, you can buy liquor at the grocery store, and at all hours of the night – pretty cool. As I was walking into my local Ralph’s I noticed a bum sitting outside of the store. This isn’t very uncommon up there to be honest, but the bum this night seemed to be less of a lazy bum, and more of a bum who was just down on his luck. How did I come to this conclusion… don’t really know. I was just in a good mood that night so that’s how it went. I decided that I would be generous and help a bum out. I decided that I wasn’t just going to drop him some change though. I was going to surprise him with a gift, but I was torn on what kind of gift. What would a bum rather have – a beer or a sandwich? Well sometimes when you offer a bum a sandwich, they get mad at you and beg for a beer. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Since I was in the drinking mood that night, I went with a beer. Just a single beer, but a beer still. And I didn’t go complete bottom shelf. I got him a Bud Light. That’s better than some college kids drink! So I went to the checkout and paid for my stuff. Then I walked outside and dropped a bag in front of him with the beer in it and said, “Hey, you want a beer?” His response, “I don’t drink.” WHAT? Really? I mean, I guess I could respect that… but I thought most bums drank! I thought it was still a safe pick! If I was at that point, even if I was hungry, I think I would still take the beer if it was being handed to me. He didn’t want it though. I felt kind of bad that I didn’t have a sandwich for him, but I kind of already spent the money that I was willing to spend at that point. I took a 50/50 shot at it and went out with a swing and a miss. He was adamant about not taking the beer, so I took the beer, and I went on my way. He still seemed like an alright bum though, so I sure hope someone got him a sandwich that night. I also hope that it wasn’t a really dry sandwich; otherwise he’ll really be kicking himself over it later.