Making More at the Job You Have
July 3, 2009
Today I came across SI.com’s article “The Fortunate 50” which lists the 50 top-earning American athletes. Topping this list is Tiger Woods who earned $99,737,626 LAST YEAR ALONE! $92,000,000 of his earnings were made through his endorsement deals with companies like Buick and AT&T. This leads me to realize that it’s not about the salary that you earn, but the endorsements that you contract.
I’ve started brainstorming about what kind of endorsements I should start looking into in order to improve my spot on a list like that. Well, I work in a project management-type position on an email production team. Maybe AOL will cut me a deal! I could create a lot of good buzz by putting my face on each of their AOL Free Trail disks that they send out. I can picture it now: a shot of me from the waist up throwing out my best thumbs-up with Word Art across the bottom that says “Diiiiiaaaaal UP!” So there’s one deal down. How many people still use those? Eh, I’m sure it’s in the high millions. That should be a really solid start. If they like how that’s going, I also have a very good voice which I feel could be used to replace the outdated “You’ve got mail” with something young and hip like “May… May-may-may… Ma-il Tiiiiime!” Male time? Um, we’ll need to work on the wording of this, but I swear the voice over for it will be killer! Money in the bank!
The next thing that I’ll look into is how to get endorsed as an improvisor! I can surely rock an ad for Converse shoes. We can take a whole new angle on it. We can market it as the “performance shoe”. Not so much for the comfort of a lightly cushioned sole or actual boost in athletic performance, but I think we can highlight how awesome they look during a show where we go anywhere our imagination takes us. Blue Ridge Mountains, space craters, inside the ribcage of a lion – I can take you there, and that Converse All-Star will be showcased every step of the way (no pun intended). The way an improvisor changes characters from scene to scene also shows the shoe’s versitility, and all of that combined can really stack up some Jacksons!
These ideas are just the start. I really think I might have a future with this, and don’t worry, I’m not the t
ype of person that goes crazy with his money once he gets it. All I really want is a simple jetski – a $550,000 simple jetski. Nothing too fancy. So, if you think you might want to endorse an average 9 to 5er, or a man just trying to express himself while trying to entertain the world, give me a ring-a-ding on my Blackberry Curve (wink!). We can grab a refreshing Miller Lite and discuss the future of advertising. Looking forward to it, Corporate America, looking forward to it.
Break Up Your Day at the Office
June 25, 2009
Some days work just feels like work. Some days you need to just get out of the office and get back to neutral. Sometimes that means thinking outside of the box. Today, a co-worker and I took our lunch break and went back in time. A time when parents feared you because of your germs, and life’s consequences were always an after-thought. We did this the best way we knew how. We made a trip to the Fun-N-Games arcade! One of the best places that a kid can be a kid! (Well, maybe it’s not necessarily the best arcade, but it’s sufficient)
The way I see it, that lunch hour is yours to do as you please. If it makes you feel less guilty about having that much fun during a work day, put a pack of Airheads in your back pocket and call it your lunch (dibs on the white mystery flavor!). I spent part of my afternoon shooting aliens and drug lords, racing NASCAR and some sweet motorcycle game, playing skee ball, and winning a rubber snake and crazy green witch-finger. For that hour, I was lost in the wondrous coalition of interactive lights and sound. I was 7 [years old] again, and filled with simplistic joy, amusement, and even a sense of victory and achievement. Today, I came back from my lunch with bragging rights. My achievements surpassed those around me today… today I earned a personal best, and a new high score on Whack-a-Mole! More important than that, I came back re-energized because I had a blast goofing off and making the most of my lunch hour.
My point is that this is the one hour between 8 and 5 that is YOURS. Throw the pigskin with a friend, play on a jungle gym at a nearby park or school (preferably if school isn’t in session, creeper), or just get out and do some random stuff that’s borderline illegal but makes you feel alive! That’s what this is all about! If the repetition of a job ever gets you in a rut (and believe me, this can come and go at any job at some point along the way), seek out some new ways to time travel. Take control of life, and get back to never growing up.
